Day 1

O is 14 days old today and it's my first day on my own with her and Sebby. The past 2 weeks were a blur of excitement as we adjusted to becoming a family of 4. We are so thankful for the great support we received following O's birth including tons of meals, visitors and help with Sebby. Our friend, Joyce hung out with Sebby for at least an hour every day, giving us a little break to get things done and giving him some undivided attention. (He loved it!) Our church arranged to have several families deliver us meals and most of them stayed to eat with us, which was an added treat as it gave us the opportunity to visit with some great people. Some people brought gifts and flowers, one couple even brought Sebby a gift, a flute set for the bath that has been a HUGE hit with him! All of this in addition to having Darren around 24/7 was almost too good to be true.

This morning I woke up realizing that today would be a bit of an adjustment since Darren was starting back at work. I wondered how I would manage even simple things like showering and getting out to the clothesline, although I knew I could do it. When I got up, I noticed I was bleeding a bit more heavily, which the midwife told me was a sign that I was overdoing it a little so although I felt like yesterday hadn't been particularly strenuous, I took a cue from my body and asked Darren if I could sleep a bit longer. When S woke me at 9:30am, breakfast was on the table, S was dressed and diapers were in the washing machine (we now wash diapers every day!). I was thankful for my super helpful husband, realizing that he'd given me a huge boost to start my day. He left for work and we were on our own.

I fed O then spent a bit of time with her because she was awake and S was playing well on his own. I decided that the most strategic way to shower was to leave O in her chair in our room with the door closed since S can't open that one door. I thought about putting O's chair in the bathroom and closing the door but thought S might not like that as he's used to me leaving the door open. My strategy worked, and when I finished showering, I still had 2 happy kiddies.

O was sleeping in her chair so I put S on my back and went out to hang out the diapers on the line since our backyard is a total mud pit these days. I had hoped to go pick up a few things at at Tesco but it was too late to go out before Sebby's nap. Instead, I did the breakfast dishes, put away the 2 loads of laundry that were hanging in the living room then changed the sheets on our bed. After lunch, S went for his nap but I couldn't fall asleep so I rested in bed for awhile then hung out the second load of laundry then our grocery delivery arrived so I started putting that away.  I was in the kitchen when I heard Darren's keys in the door.

Not bad at all for day 1 on our own! The house wasn't a total disaster, I was showered and dressed and I was feeling quite relaxed overall. I was a little disappointed that I didn't make it outside to enjoy the sunshine today but I'm trying to not be too hard on myself. I'll work on getting out of the flat with the kids but for today I was really thankful for the sunshine coming in our windows and S who contentedly played inside all morning.

To top off a good day, a couple from church brought us a really delicious meal, homemade chicken pie and mashed potatoes. We loved it, even S liked it, especially the pastry! What a great meal to end the meals that our church had organized for us.

I'm so excited for our friend, Karen, to arrive tomorrow for a week. I'm looking forward to catching up with her and I'm sure she'll be able to help me get out of the house too.

Ophelia Birth Story Part 3

No more than 2 minutes after Ophelia was born, our midwife, Ann rushed in. She was probably parking her car as Ophelia was entering the world. She had tried to get her as fast as possible but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. She was thrilled that everything had gone so smoothly and said quietly to me that it was probably nicer that we got to go through the experience on our own anyways.

She began sorting through the homebirth kits, pulling out cord clamps, scissors and other tools she would need. A few minutes later she clamped the cord then passed Darren the scissors so he could cut it. We called our friend who was watching Sebby and told her she could bring him back. We also called our friend and neighbour, Anna, to tell her the news (she squealed in excitement and woke up her two kids!) and said she was welcome to come by. (Her husband was the friend who had helped fill the pool).

Just then the buzzer rang and midwife number 2 rushed in. She was the "backup" midwife that the hospital had dispatched when they found out that Ann was at another birth. She was a little disappointed that she had missed all the action but decided to stay to help Ann finish up the paperwork, check Ophelia and help me deliver the placenta.

A few minutes later, the buzzer rang and in rushed midwife number 3, the "backup" that the "backup" had called when she found out that we lived on the opposite side of the city. She thought that her colleague may have a chance to get to our place quicker so she asked her to come.

Still hanging out in the pool at that point, I called my sister, Krista on Skype to tell her the news since my parents weren't home. We talked for a few minutes then I hung up as Anna arrived, followed shortly after by Sebby and Joyce who had been watching him.

Anna held Ophelia and introduced her to Sebby as he arrived. They were out in the entry so I didn't see or hear what was happening but Darren said that as soon as Sebby saw her, he exclaimed, "WOW!"

 While Sebby was meeting Ophelia, the midwives asked me to stand up to deliver the placenta. I was a little bit confused about why they wanted me to stand but quickly understood because as soon as I stood, there was a big gush of blood (up until that point there was barely any blood at all) and out came the placenta. They took the placenta away then helped me up out of the pool and on to the couch where they helped me get dressed. They then handed Ophelia back to me so that she could rest on my chest and enjoy a little "skin to skin" with her momma.

A few minutes later, the buzzer rang yet again and in rushed a paramedic. Apparently the hospital had called them after Darren had told them that the baby was coming then hung up. They had been super busy, though, and so only arrived at our place an hour and a half after the call had been placed. Thankfully we didn't need them so the midwives sent her away pretty quickly.

With the paperwork complete and Mom and baby doing fine, the midwives and guests left to let us settle in as a family of four. Darren read a few stories to Sebby and Ophelia then put Sebby to bed. Too high on adrenaline to sleep, we began cleaning up our flat. I picked up towels and threw them in the laundry, Darren finished emptying and putting away the pool then put our living room back together.

When everything was in order, we sat down to eat (we hadn't eaten since lunch at Crazy Wok) and try calling our parents again. We talked to his parents first and they were pretty surprised to hear that Ophelia was born. My parents were less surprised but equally excited to chat, as my siblings had filled them in on the news already.

Darren, Ophelia & I finally got tucked in for the night at around 2am, still a bit high from the excitement of the day but with tired bodies from all that had been done.

Ophelia Birth Story Part 2

For awhile I sat on our exercise ball, leaning my body forward and on to our bed to relax in between contractions and standing up then squatting when contractions would come. Later, I moved to the bed, kneeling on my hands and knees during contractions and leaning forward to lay my head and chest on the bed (the "child's pose" in yoga) in between them.

The hypnobirthing exercises REALLY helped! Outside the room, I could hear Darren busily working, then calling a friend to ask him to come help fill the pool with water because the hose wasn't staying attached to the faucet in the bath tub (oops!). Soon our friend arrived with his electric kettle and an extra pot and they got to work filling pots and dumping them into the 4 ft deep pool in our living room.

Throughout the entire labour I felt intensely focused, calm, relaxed and in control. I was able to fully relax in between the contractions (in hypnobirthing, they call them "surges" and emphasize that contractions do not involve pain, only pressure and that pressure is good because it is your body working to open the path for your baby to be born). When the contractions hit I would focus on getting through them, thinking and saying the word "open" as I visualized my  cervix opening and Ophelia moving down the birth canal. 

When I heard our friend leave, I opened the bedroom door and went into the bathroom where I laboured while sitting on the toilet for a few contractions. I told Darren that I had no idea when we should call to have the midwife come but I thought perhaps soon. I heard him calling then he came to tell me that the pool was ready. I headed into the living room and was struck by the peaceful, calm atmosphere that Darren had created. He had the pool ready, blinds down, lights dimmed, candles lit and hypnobirthing recording playing softly in the background.

At around 7pm, he helped me into the pool (it was so tall that I had to use a step stool to get in) and as soon as I sunk into the warm water (37 degrees is what they recommend and what we aimed to keep it at), I felt comfortable and even more relaxed. In the pool, I spent some time on my hands and knees then shifted to lying on my side, leaning one hand on the little inflatable seat on the side of the pool) and one leg against the side of the pool, foot partially out of the water. The contractions were getting even more intense and closer together and my soft spoken "open" was becoming a louder and louder "oooo" during each contraction as I visualized my cervix opening and Ophelia coming closer to being born. Darren was also there helping massage my hand during each contraction. 

Darren called back to see if the hospital had made progress on sending out a midwife because when he has called the last time, they told him that ours was busy at another birth so they would have to send a backup midwife who lived on the other side of the city, about 50 minutes away. This time, he told them that the contractions were getting closer together and that we would need a midwife to come ASAP, the baby was coming quickly. They asked him if I was feeling like pushing and I said "Yes!" as I was feeling the pressure lower and lower during the previous 2 contractions. I knew at that point that I was in the transition phase (dilating the final bit to 10 cms and starting to have an urge to push) and I also knew that she would be born before the midwives arrived, although I'm not sure I said that to Darren. The person on the phone with Darren told him that I should get out of the pool. He said that he wasn't sure he'd be able to convince me to get out of the pool but they kept telling him that he had to get me out of the pool. Finally they threatened, "You're going to be in big trouble if you don't get her out of the pool!" so at that point he said he would be hanging up and he did.  

A few minutes after he got out of the phone, I started to feel the intense stinging or burning sensation that signaled to me that her head was crowning. I was so excited because I knew that the second stage of labour probably wouldn't take more than a few minutes, we were about to meet our little girl. I had read that natural childbirthing advocates usually recommend against intense pushing in this stage (in the hospital when I gave birth to Sebby they were telling me to take a deep breath then push as hard as I could) as it contributes to tearing and isn't necessary (with Sebby I tore and had to get stitches, it was quite painful) so I told myself relax and be patient. As I felt her head and body slowly moving downwwards, I continued to breathe deeply, relieved that the stinging sensation subsided as soon as her head was completely out. 

Darren had spoken to our midwife on the phone and since she knew that there was a possibility that no one would make it to our place in time, she gave Darren a few instructions. She said that the most important thing to know was that we should make sure she stayed under water until her whole body was out then we were to grab her and wrap her in a towel and put her on my chest. She also told him to open the bags from the "homebirthing kit that had been delivered to our house and pull out a few things. She has a fairly thick Glasgwegian accent, though, so he heard something about instruments and something else about forceps but he admitted after getting off the phone that he had no idea what she was talking about. In the end he just zipped the bag back up and left it. 

  

I wasn't aware of the time and although it felt long because I was so excited that she was about to be born, I don't think the second stage lasted any more than about 15 minutes. I felt her moving slowly down and the finally I felt her whole body slip out. When we pulled her up out of the water, we noticed the cord was around her neck so we quickly unwapped it and then lay her on my chest. She was a little blue but breathing well and once on my chest in the water, quickly began regaining her colour. 

What a rush!

*** Check back soon for the finale & more pictures ***

PS: Sorry there aren't more pictures to share. Darren intended to document the labour and birth, however, things happened so fast that he didn't have time to snap any pictures until after the first midwife arrived. 

Ophelia Birth Story Part 1

Darren had the morning off on Monday so he was able to join me for my midwife appointment. Walking there, we were talking about how perfect it would be if Ophelia decided to make an appearance that day so Darren could take his full two weeks of paternity leave just before our first "post baby" visitor would arrive from Canada. We wondered whether my midwife would do a membrane sweep (an internal exam where the midwife sweeps her fingers around the cervix to separate the membranes of the amniotic sac from the cervix, which releases hormones that can stimulate the onset of labour) to potentially speed up the onset of my labour.

When we arrived at the clinic, just before 10am, the receptionist said that my appointment may have to be postponed because my midwife had just been called out to attend a homebirth. I felt a slight twinge of disappointment as I waited, while the receptionist checked to see if Ann had time to see me quickly before heading out. Thankfully, she agreed to squeeze in our appointment before she had to rush off. While quickly checking my blood pressure, she explained that unfortunately she would be off for 10 vacation days starting this Thursday. This meant that unless I went into labour before Wednesday, I would be looked after by another midwife for the rest of my pregnancy. She asked if I had tried reflexology or any other natural labour induction methods and I explained that I had been practicing hypnobirthing (listening to a recording of relaxation and visualization exercises every day that would help me stay calm and relaxed during the process of labour) and doing lots of walking. I told her that Darren and I had been wondering whether she would do a membrane sweep and without skipping a beat she replied, "Oh, do you want me to do one now? We'll call it an 'internal exam' if anyone asks though, because I'm not supposed to do it until 40 weeks..."

The sweep wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as I anticipated and I was excited to hear that she thought the sweep would work, she even went as far as to say that she would see me at our place tomorrow for the birth of our baby! The chances of a sweep being successful go way up if the cervix is already ripe/ready for birth and I was already 3cms dilated and 50% effaced! (the cervix has to open to 10 cms and thin to 100% effaced in order for the baby to be born).

As soon as we left the clinic, I began feeling minor cramping that progressively got worse as we walked down to the Kelvingrove Museum to look at the animals with Sebby.

The cramping continued throughout our lunch at Crazy Wok (our favourite Cantonese food restaurant in Glasgow) and our walk back home. Darren went off to work after lunch and I went home to put Sebby in for a nap and laid down to relax. At that point, around 2pm, I was beginning to feel very minor contractions so I texted Darren to update him, and then turned off my phone to relax while Sebby slept. After Darren's meeting ended, he texted to say he had to go do some errands in town and told me that our friend, Joyce was willing to watch Sebby so I might as well send him off to the park with her. I was reluctant at first, saying that the contractions were pretty weak so I was fine with having Sebby with me but Darren convinced me that it would be good for Sebby to get some fresh air and hang out with Joyce, even if it was just so I could bake a few more loaves of bread or get things more ready for once the baby was here.

 I contacted Joyce then headed into the kitchen to wash the dishes before she arrived while Sebby played in the living room. At around 4pm, I noticed that the contractions were starting to come closer together so I sent Darren a text message, telling him that I thought he should come home as soon as possible because my contractions were 4 minutes apart and getting closer together. By the time Joyce arrived, about 20 minutes later, I had long abandoned the plan of cooking or cleaning and was pulling the furniture out of the living room and the birthing pool out of the closet. 

Joyce jumped into action, helping me re-arrange the living room and vacuum under where the pool was going to be set up. Sebby was thrilled that the air pump had re-emerged from the closet and was excitedly pumping with it. I was leaving the room every few minutes as the contractions would hit so that I could be alone to focus on getting through them.

A sweaty Darren arrived a few minutes after Joyce and sent Joyce and Sebby off then started getting the pool set up. At that point, I decided that I would stay out of the living room until the pool was entirely set up. I had a shower while Darren inflated the pool then went into our bedroom to relax with the help of my hypnobirthing recording (a 50 minute recording we had downloaded from iTunes that contained different breathing, relaxation and visualization exercises that I could use during labour). 

*** Check back soon for part 2 ***

And The Winner Is...???

Thanks for your votes. We're not sure who voted for October 1st but they got it right!

Ophelia Grace Lai Kwong 

was born just before 8pm Glasgow time. She was so excited to meet us that she couldn't wait until the midwife arrived. Darren was too busy assisting to snap pictures during the labour but he got this one just a few minutes after she was born.

I'll be starting to work on her birth story very soon because I think it's a pretty exciting story will keep you in suspense until I share more details then. We're off to an early bed since the adrenaline rush kept us from sleeping much last night.

Guess When Baby O Will Arrive!

We're making this pretty easy on you as we've decided to do this pretty late in the game but we decided it would be fun to post a poll to see when people think Baby O will make an appearance.

To make it even easier for you, I'll remind you that today is less than a week before her due date...October 5th if you go with the "last monthly period" calculation or October 6th if you go with the measurements from the ultrasound tech.

If Darren were betting, he would have already lost. For the past 3 evenings, he has had a feeling that "tonight would be the night" and last night was tempted to blow up the birthing pool "just in case" but still no Baby O.

I played around with a few options of for polls but my lack of tech savyness proved that the easiest way to set up the poll would be to do a blogger poll right on the sidebar of the blog here. I had to change the whole layout because I couldn't figure out how to have it show up on the other layout I was using but it still seemed easier than trying to figure out how to get widgets & hyperlinks to work for me (I tried and they weren't working!).

Please comment to let me know which date you chose, I just realized the Blogger poll lets the voters anonymous. In other words, unless you comment to say you voted, I won't if you guessed correctly.

We're hoping & praying it will be soon so get your guesses in quickly.

Update On Lamby: Still Vacationing!

Sadly, the guesthouse we stayed at in France didn't reply to our email about lost Lamby. He'll have a good life in beautiful Nice but we'll miss him.

Thankfully Sebby wasn't too phased by the loss of Lamby & quickly became attached to Giraffe. The  thing that makes me smile when I get whacked with Giraffe in the mornings is the reminder of just how much God notices and takes care of us.  Only God would have known that Lamby would be lost a few days later and that we would be in need of a new "best friend" for Sebby. 

The Giraffe was "randomly" given to Sebby by a little girl on the playground in France. I was really struck by the whole scene. A little girl of about 6 was going around the park offering her old dolls and teddy bears to the younger kids to take home. What a generous sacrifice, yet no parent was allowing their children to accept the gift that the little girl was offering. I thought it was a very kind gesture as well as an important lesson in generosity for the little girl so I gladly allowed Sebby to choose Giraffe from among the stack of loved teddies she held out. 

 

It made me a bit sad that other parents were so closed to receiving the gift. Parents not allowing their children to accept a gift from another child on a playground reminds me of how so many people have that same attitude towards the Gift of eternal life that God so generously offers us. People are either too proud or too sceptical (or too whatever) to accept the gift and their choice also affects those around them, especially their children. The Gospel message is like that, to some people, it's weird, to others, it's too good to be true to others, it makes them feel weak because they would rather "do it on their own". When we overcome all of these barriers to accept the gift, we discover that we are in for an even better gift than we could have imagined.

Thinking back, I'm so glad I let Sebby take the Giraffe. Sebby has already "loved" Giraffe so much that one of his legs is becoming detached. Need to sew it back on before it comes off completely!

PS: Another benefit of having Giraffe is that he has a rattle inside so we can hear if Sebby is getting out of bed at night because of the noise  as Giraffe tags along with him to the door. 

Feeling Pregnant

At 38.5 weeks, I have to say that I am finally feeling very pregnant! I am thankful that for the most part, this pregnancy has been easy on my body and that I have been able to be  quite mobile and active throughout the pregnancy.

***

This week I have needed to slow things down...

I am starting to find bending down very difficult/somewhat uncomfortable, it makes my stomach feel a bit sick actually. 

I used to get down on the floor a lot when picking up toys, playing with Sebby, helping him get dressed but am making more of an effort to sit on couches, chairs or beds because I am finding it such effort to get back up again from the floor.

I wake up feeling achy and sore and am beginning to feel like a whale when I turn over in bed. I am happy (for the most part) to stay at home and putter around with Sebby for most of the day, although I still aim to make it outdoors for at least a half hour per day even if its just to the park at the bottom of our street. I know that fresh air & exercise is important for all of us!

***

I am glad to have completed most of the items on my pre-baby to-do list and although new items are continually being added (like sorting through the toy box this morning at 6am!), I am quite content with my progress made. I have post-baby paperwork mostly figured out & filled out. We booked my moms tickets for her November visit. The hood of the kitchen stove has been de-greased. The bassinet, carseat & baby chair were dropped off on Monday night (which made me feel so much more ready for her to arrive knowing that she has a place to sleep!).

Getting pretty excited for Baby O to arrive!

4am

One of the signs that my body is getting ready to have this baby is the 4am wakings! For well over a month now, I have been waking up between 4 and 4:30am and feeling wide awake.

I remember this happening during my last pregnancy. When I asked someone about it, she said she saw it as part of God's way of preparing mothers for what is to come when the baby arrives, which I felt was a helpful perspective on the whole thing.

This time around, having already experienced life with a newborn, waking once at 1am to go to the bathroom and then again at 4am "for the day" isn't so bad at all, especially when you've gone to sleep at 10pm.

Darren's body must be getting him ready for a newborn too! He's been sleeping so deeply/breathing so heavily/snoring so loudly that it makes it almost impossible for me to fall back asleep once I'm awake. Poking him gives me about 2 minutes of reprieve but that's not long enough for me to fall asleep. Plugging my ears only muffles the sound but its hard to get comfy while plugging ones ears.
I usually end up falling back to sleep eventually, usually not until Sebby wakes up between 4:45 & 5:30 cause with Darren being busy with work, I have been going into his room to help him get back to sleep at that time so that Darren can sleep a bit longer.

Today we started having Darren go into the room when Sebby wakes up so that he can learn to fall back to sleep without me before baby O is born...hopefully at least!

 In the meantime, I'm wondering if I should dig out a pair of earplugs. And I am looking forward to being able to sleep more soundly and comfortably once O is born.

37 Weeks...Almost Ready!

It's hard to believe I'm already 37 weeks, full term by many definitions! Here in Scotland, the National Health Service defines full term as 38 weeks so since I'm being cared for under this system, I'm trying to go by their definitions.

Although I'd be a bit disappointed to not have the opportunity to attempt a homebirth if O is born this week, I'm so looking forward to meeting her and would be excited for her to arrive anytime. She could decide to make an appearance any day now since I'm in that "five week window" (between 37 & 42 weeks) when the baby is most likely to come.

And I have a feeling she will show up before her October 5th or 6th due date.

(If I go by when I had my last period, the 5th is my due date but after my ultrasound, they adjusted it to October 6th).

Thankfully the weather hasn't been great and the urge to nest hit me pretty strong and early this pregnancy as Darren is quite busy with work this month. Sebby has been a great little helper as I've been getting lots done around the flat over the past few weeks. 

A few of the projects I've worked on...

- Washed all our baby girl clothes 

(a friend dropped off a big suitcase of 0-6mths stuff)

- Cleaned and re-organized our kitchen cupboards

- Re-organized Sebby's closet 

(to make room for O's 0-3 mths clothes) 

- Re-organized our closet 

(to make room for O's blankets and diapers since she'll be sleeping in our room at first)

- Took out of boxes and put away all baby stuff in new homes

- Washed the outside of our large & very dirty living room windows 

- Cleaned & organized the front closet 

- Washed walls, baseboards and heater in the living room

- Received the homebirthing kit & re-organized the front closet

(I had to make room for the 4 large bags)

-  Got our homebirthing pool ready to go

(read the instructions, ordered a liner & cover)

- Started practicing Hypnobirthing breathing & visualization exercises every evening

- Attempted potty training Sebby

(he just couldn't figure out how to poo in the potty so he's back in diapers for the time being)

 - Moved Sebby to the big bed

(although this wasn't high on the priority list, he was interested and so far, so good)

I still have a few more projects to work on/things to get ready, although the top few are most important and I won't stress if I don't get to the rest of them...

-  Borrow bassinet & infant carseat

 (need to get on this one ASAP in case she comes early!)

- Continue daily practice of relaxation, breathing & visualization

- Spend time researching strategies for helping Sebby have a smooth transition to being a big brother

- Book flights for my Mom's visit 

(we're planning to have her come in early November)

- Get together with 2 friends in Glasgow who have had homebirths to learn more about their experiences & get tips/advice

- Give the kitchen a good clean

- Wash the outside of our bedroom window 

(need Darren's help to move the bed)

- Do a good clean of the kitchen including inside the oven, washing the walls & stove top

- Look into the process for getting O a passport, birth certificate & visa

Although "to do's" are important, I am trying to prioritize spending quality time with Darren & Sebby and getting lots of rest before O arrives because I know once she's here, I may have at least a few months of sleep deprivation ahead of me. Babies are more than worth it but there is no denying that they are physically and emotionally demanding.

Big Bed Update

The first few days of transitioning Sebby to a big bed seemed a bit too good to be true. Every nap and bedtime, he would eagerly get into bed and wave goodbye as we left the room. As soon as the door closed, he would cry softly for a few minutes then go to sleep. 

We were amazed that he never tried to get out of bed until a few nights later when he did. A few minutes after we left the room, we heard the door creak then saw Sebby with a huge smirk on his face re-emerging from the bedroom. He was pretty proud of himself for figuring out that he could escape. Darren couldn't help but laugh, which of course made Sebby think what he was doing was hilarious. He ran up to me asking me to sing him more "Bee bees" (the ABC song). I took him back to bed and sang to him a few more times then left. He came out again few minutes later with the same request. We repeated the process a few more times until we decided, much to his dismay, that he would sleep in his crib that night.

Although naptimes in the big bed continued to go smoothly, each night he would come out a minute or two after we left the room. We would give him a few chances to stay in bed but would end up sleeping in his crib. We thought perhaps we might go back to having him sleep in the crib until Darren had an idea...

He would sit outside the door, holding it closed so that when Sebby tried to come out, he wouldn't be able to open the door. Since he was asking for more "Bee bees," Darren said that he would sing more from outside the room once he was back in bed. He got out of bed once or twice more but then decided that since he couldn't get out of the room anyways, he would settle in and go to sleep. 

Success!

We'll see if this strategy will stand the test of time and if after a few nights, he will give up getting out of bed and just settle down to go to sleep as he was doing initially. 

 

 

The Name Game

Sebby has become a real parrot of other people's speech and spends a great deal of time every day repeating what he hears. We now realize even more what a little sponge he is and are more aware of what comes out of our mouths because it is repeated back at us throughout the day.

Lately, he's picked up on the fact that Darren calls me "hun" and has started calling me "hun" when he really wants to get my attention.

He usually does it when Darren is there too and Darren always explains that my name is "Momma" and that Daddy's special name for "Momma "is "hun" bur he figures if it works for Daddy, it works for him too.

He has also started calling me "Mom" recently. 

 

 He must be realizing that people can have multiple names. 

 

He knows himself as "Sebby" or "Sebastian" and even "Lung See Chuen" (his Chinese name) but he can't pronounce any of those names, he calls himself "Bobby." We thought it was hilarious because that's what his cousin Bryce (2 months older) was calling him this summer when we were back in Canada.

Wonder if the nickname "Bobby" will stick?

Bed Time?

For over a week now. Sebby has been drawing attention to the bed in his room at naptime and bedtime. I thought he wanted to sleep in the bed instead of his crib but Darren explained that he wanted us to lie down in the bed until he went to sleep.

Saturday afternoon at naptime, Darren asked him if we wanted to sleep in the bed when he mentioned it. Much to our amazement, he lay down and although he cried for us a few minutes after we left the room, he stayed in bed and went to sleep.

For real?
Our mischevious little Sebby stayed in bed? We figured we could hold off on transitioning him from the crib to the bed for a few months, thinking that he would be scrambling around, emptying the drawers and climbing on the window bench the moment we left the room. But he surprised us and stayed in bed. Again at bedtime, we left him in the bed and he went to sleep after a few minutes.

Well it's been a few days and so far so good, he's stayed in bed and doesn't seem phased by the transition. I guess we'll see over the next few weeks how he does with sleeping in the bed and if it continues to go well, Sebby will offically be transitioned to a big bed. If he decides that he wants to go back to sleeping in the crib, that's OK with me too. We weren't in a rush to move him out of the crib as Little Lungette won't be needing it for at least a few months. That being said, if he is ready to start sleeping in the big bed now, that's cool with us. I can say that the transition to the bed was surprisingly easy (far easier than the transition out of diapers), however, I know he has been really tried at both naptimes and bedtimes lately.

Sure seems like our little guy has been growing up so fast lately.

Progress On The Potty & What We're Working On Next

After a phone conversation with my mom on Sunday night, I started to wonder if we were kidding ourselves thinking Sebby would get the hang of using the potty at such a young age. She said that of all of us (12) kids, I was trained the earliest at 18 months because I never liked being in soiled diapers and was very self-motivated to get on that potty. The (7) boys in our family took a longer time to be potty trained because they were so interested in and focused on playing that they never wanted to take a break from playing to go to the potty. She was worried that one of my brothers would be going to school in diapers because he took so long to get the hang of it. He was just so focused on playing that he would forget about everything else in the world.

Throughout the day on Sunday, Darren and I wondered if it was worth it to persevere with the training or whether we should give up and go to church, or go to the park or anywhere other than our flat. We decided to stick it out till the end of the day and then re-evaluate. 

I decided that I would continue on Monday and had my first day of solo potty training. I was thankful that the day went by far faster and better than I had imagined. By 11:30am, he'd had his second pee in the potty and had cooperatively dropped everything to run to the potty and pee when I asked him to show me how he could pee. He had fun playing in the kitchen while I cooked a meal for a family in our church who recently had a baby and enjoyed being allowed back into the living room to play with some of his toys. On days 1 and 2 of potty training, he was largely confined to the entryway of our place where there are minimal distractions and it is easy to keep an eye on him. Although he did one poo in his underwear, I was encouraged with his progress and glad we hadn't given up.

Today was our fourth full day of training and it was another encouraging day for us. Sebby took his first big trip out of the house in training pants when he came along to my midwife appointment. We put him on the toilet twice while we were out but he didn't do anything (it was pretty distracting in there with lots of buttons and things to touch). I was so proud of him when we arrived home two hours later to find his clothes dry. As soon as he sat on the potty, he peed there. His diaper was dry when he woke up from his nap and he peed in the potty shortly after waking up. He had a small accident this afternoon but managed to rush to the potty fast enough that most of the pee ended up there. The only disappointment of the day was that he did another poo in his underwear. 

I'm not sure how we can help him learn to get to the potty to poo but that's something that we still need to work on a bit more. Any input or advice would be much appreciated.

We also need to start working on teaching him to pee when we're out of the house. We scoffed when we heard of people bringing a potty around with them but now I'm beginning to understand the reasoning behind it. I still think that it's not at all practical for our family (carless people who babywear & walk everywhere) to bring a potty when we go out but I am concerned abut making sure that Sebby is able to use the toilet when we're out. Again, we welcome any feedback and suggestions from other parents who've been there.

This potty training adventure has been a challenge but it has been so rewarding to see Sebby "get it" so quickly. To see him rushing to the potty and sitting down to pee after only a few days of work on it is amazing. I love how after every time he pees, he stands up and says "WOW!" and puts his face down really close to examine the pee in the potty. He's really proud of himself too.

What Potty Training Is Teaching ME!

I thought potty training was about teaching year child a key life skill but within a few minutes of beginning the training on our 20 month old, I realized that he wasn't going to be the only one learning.

Choosing to try a very focused training method (using the "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" book) at the minimum recommended age of 20 months, I should have known it would be a challenge. 

The book outlines that there are three prerequisites for beginning potty training using their method:

1. Physical Readiness

The child must be able to walk around the room easily on their own.

They need the dexterity take down and pull up underwear by themselves as part of the training.

2. Bladder control

Can they stay dry for several hours at a time?

Do they seem to know they need to pee?

3. Instructional Readiness

Can they understand & follow instruction?

Although Sebby seemed to meet all the prerequisites that the book outlined, there were some roadblocks to progress due largely to my weaknesses in parenting. He understands very well and follows instructions when it comes to everyday things like pointing to objects and helping around the house but he isn't accustomed to being always expected to stop what he is doing and obey right away. He is also used to me giving in easily when he begins to get upset, usually by letting him nurse to calm down.

Other roadblocks we faced have to do with Sebby's temperament and personality. He is very active and never really sits. Over the past few weeks, he's gotten increasingly good at independent play and as a result, he tends to get so focused on what he's doing that it is very difficult to get his attention. If you do try to get his attention when he is focused on something else, he tends to get quite upset.

As a result of all of these factors, we had an even bigger challenge ahead of ourselves. I quickly realized that my parenting strategies of communication and follow through with Sebby needed to change ASAP and that the whole process of potty training would be more difficult for both he and I. We both had more to learn than just how to use the potty. 

Thankfully we decided to begin the training for a brief time yesterday evening (2 hours) because it gave us enough time to try out the method then re-work a strategy for how to tackle it today. I was so glad that Darren has been around because although I read the book, he did a fine job of identifying aspects of the method that weren't working for us and re-engineer a new strategy to try this morning. He was also far better at training Sebby than I was because he was more able to follow through on getting Sebby to listen to the instructions and not give in to tantrums. There were a few tantrums (one lasted 45 minutes) and they were pretty exhausting, especially for me because he spent a great deal of time demanding to nurse.

Here are a few of the things that we did differently than what the method suggested:

1. Reading on the potty

The book recommended having them sit for long periods of time on the potty at first (10 minutes!) to get them used to it and hopefully give them success at peeing in it at the same time.  

Getting Sebby to sit still in any location for more than 30 seconds without a book or smartphone in his hand is impossible. We decided that if we had any hope of getting him to sit on the potty, we would need to do something other than ask him to sit and relax. We chose reading books and it worked! This morning he peed three times in the potty in three hours, all because Darren spent most of the morning reading to him while he sat on the potty.

2. Not using the doll

The method suggested using the first hour of training as a time to have your child teach a doll to go to the potty. 

We realized after a few minutes that Sebby had no interest in the doll and wasn't very motivated to teach her anything or even look at her. He didn't even seem to get the concept of teaching the doll  so we decided after a short time that we would put the doll away and focus on Sebby. Thankfully we didn't spend money buying a doll, she was borrowed from a friend.

Only this afternoon did Sebby begin to take an interest in the doll, sitting her on the potty and pointing out all of her body parts.

3. Not doing so many practice runs

The method said that if the children had an accident, you should get them to practice the whole series of events from rushing to the potty to taking down their underwear to sitting on the potty ten times in a row.

For us at the beginning, simply getting Sebby's attention and having him follow through on pulling up his underwear sometimes took 15 minutes or longer or worse resulted in a tantrum that lasted 30 minutes. He wasn't upset because he wasn't able to pull up his underwear on his own but because he wanted to play with something else. Or he wanted a snack. Or he wanted to nurse. Or because he had no idea why all of a sudden his parents were being so strict about having him follow instructions right away when they would have normally just let it slide. There was no way we were going to get him to run through the whole series of events ten times. We focused on getting him to obey one separate instruction at a time before advancing to having him obey several instructions.

So upset!

4. We gave far fewer candy rewards

The book suggested giving praise in various ways including special candy treats. Early on in the training, they recommended giving rewards very liberally as they were learning each little skill in the sequence of events.

We found that the candy distracted from what we were trying to accomplish because Sebby would get so focused on the candies that he would throw a tantrum because he really wanted a candy or some sugary juice. Since he isn't used to having candy, he became increasingly jittery and unable to focus or sit still the more "rewards" he received. 

  

5. Playing in between practice sessions

The book recommended staying in a room with minimal distrations for the entire training time.

We thought that keeping Sebby in the same room for the whole day would be too intense for him. We decided to allow him to take breaks to play in another room of the house. Did he have "accidents" while playing? Yes, a few times. But it was worth our sanity and his. Without taking breaks, I think we would have ended up with even more tantrums and maybe would have even given up.

With these few adaptations to their methods, along with some adaptations to our usual parenting style (not giving in to his tantrums and making sure he followed through on any instructions we gave him), we started to see success by the end of our day today! He peed in the potty several times throughout the day and definitely got used to sitting on it.

By bedtime, he seemed to be really enjoying practicing running to the potty, pulling down his underwear and sitting down. He wasn't running away and getting frustrated when it was time to pull up his underwear after getting off the potty.

It might take another day...or more...but he is definitely making progress. Especially because we realize that he is learning than just going to the potty through this process, we see the value of spending this time teaching Sebby to use the potty although it has been tiring. Since I know that my approach to parenting has to change, it has been a really good exercise for me as well.

Wish us luck tomorrow!

Ready, Set, Go...

Not sure where I got the idea to start attempting to potty train Sebby but I think it's because potty talk was all around me. Seems I had several friends who had kids slightly older than Sebby who were brainstorming about strategies lamenting about the trials and frustrations of potty training their toddlers. And somehow I decided that it would be a good thing for us to attempt before Little Lungette made her appearance. 

A co-worker shared that she had potty trained all of her 4 kids before the age of two by spending three focused days with them on potty training. I was intrigued by her method and thought of attempting it because spending three days on potty training sounded manageable. 

Then following various Facebook conversation threads on potty training, I read about a concept that really caught my attention. A few co-workers mentioned having seen success with a method called "Toilet Training In Less Than A Day." I thought that sounded amazing, although maybe a bit too good to be true.

After a bit of internet research, I was convinced I needed to try it. The method was developed in the 1970s by two psychologists, learning specialists working on a project to learn about what is involved in learning and how learning could be made more rapid. They found that their method helped most children in their trials learn the skills involved in potty training in about 4 hours. 

I ordered the book, a used copy first edition copy from 1976, from Amazon & read the whole book the afternoon it arrived (its short & sweet, the key chapter being the method). Sebby & I went shopping for supplies (a potty, big boy underwear and treats to reward him as he learns the necessary skills) then we set a date to try it before Darren's work schedule gets crazy busy. 

We Met A Fireman

Walking up the hill this morning after a little outing to the Botanics, a woman stopped me to ask about the Pod (I had Sebby on my back as usual). As we chatted, she told me that there was a Family Day at the Fire Station near our place.

I knew Sebby would love it so hurried home to give him lunch and a nap so that we would have time to drop by before it ended.

Sebby's favourite cartoon is Fireman Sam! For months, he's been interested in emergency vehicles fand points them out when they pass as we're walking. Since we live so close to the fire station, we hear the sirens every time a fire truck is dispatched to a fire and Sebby stops what he is doing to listen.

It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon for a visit to the Fire Station! As we walked into the parking lot, we were surprised to see how festive of an atmosphere it was! There was face painting, a bouncy castle and 2 fair rides but Sebby passed by quickly on the way to the open police van parked nearby. Then he noticed the fire truck parked with doors open and hurried over to take a look. 

As I passed him to the fireman to sit him in the seat of the truck, he started to get a bit scared and asked to get down.

Daddy got in the fire truck instead.

We talked to the fireman and watched other kids get in and turn on the sirens in the truck instead.

"Loud!"

Although he didn't want to get in the fire truck, just before we left, he decided he wanted to sit in the police van.

Driving the police van.

What a fun little afternoon activity!

Welcome Back Killer Leg Cramps & Enjoying Sebby Time

It's hard to believe I'm already 33 weeks along. This has been a stellar pregnancy, I've have felt very healthy throughout except a few weeks of pelvic pain that was sorted out after a few visits to the osteopath. The fact that the early morning killer leg cramps have recently appeared is only a very small inconvenience. I have nothing to complain about.

In excellent pregnancy-related news, we had a scan (ultrasound) this week that showed that Little Lungette's placenta was in a good place (there was concern in the previous ultrasounds that the placenta was too low). We had been praying that the placenta would not be covering the cervix because I really wanted to have a homebirth. The ultrasound also showed that her head was down, getting cozied in and ready to come out in a few weeks.

I'm sure the next few weeks will fly by! This time we don't have any extra freezer space to prepare food in advance so we don't have too much more to do in order to be ready. I'm just waiting for a sunny day so that I can wash the new clothes and nappies we've been given. 

And I'm trying to cherish of these last few weeks of having just one child. Sebby is 20 months and at a really fun stage, starting to talk a lot. As we're walking outside, he is a constant stream of observatory dialogue, pointing out everything he sees. It goes a bit like this...

 "dog, dog tail, dog eyes, dog nose, tree, door, brick, dig dig (digger), raining, hat, baby, tree, raining, umbrella, dog, chair, door, duck, car, car, police, flower, bunny, door....."

He's getting to be such a big boy and loves doing everything he sees us doing. He's becoming a great help! He sets the cutlery on the "big" table before meals, he helps cook, he scoops the coffee into the coffee grinder for Daddy in the mornings and he puts the groceries from the shopping cart onto the counter at the grocery store.  

Helping make pizzas.

 He can say his name now...almost. He calls himself "BOBBY!" The funny thing is that when we were back in Canada, his little cousin called him "Bobby" too. We think it's pretty hilarious and try to get him to say it as much as possible.

We tried out a great new playgroup yesterday called Mainly Music. I really recommend checking it out as the program started in Australia but is now hosted in cities all over the world. There is a half hour of singing (it's fun and age appropriate for Sebby) then a snack time for the kids. The last half hour is a free play time for the kids and snack time for the adults. There are home baked goodies and drinks. The other parents in the group were so very friendly and welcoming that I decided on the spot to commit to going as often as possible. I also love that it only happens every other week because it makes it more manageable to plan to commit to going every week of the session. Another bonus is that it only costs 1.50 each week. For such a well organized program, that's a steal!

Hope you have a great weekend! We're enjoying a lazy rainy Saturday morning in. Daddy is editing pictures from our time in France and Sebby keeps bringing him books to read. I'm trying to motivate myself to get up and make pizza dough so we can have pizza later but this couch is just so comfortable.

Adventures in Babywearing

We've always loved the convenience of babywearing. We started wearing Sebby a few days after birth because he fell asleep so easily in there and the carrier was far easier to bring with us than our big, shiny stroller. 

Sebby in the Beco at home (2 mths).

 

We wore him around the house, on walks, in the mall, to weddings and especially when we traveled.

Tucked in warm on a chilly, rainy day in Iceland (7 mths).

Our first day trip after moving to Scotland, a tour of Stirling Castle (8 mths).

 Edinburgh (10 mths).

Spain (11 mths).

We traveled a lot during Sebby's first year of life and loved our first carrier (a Beco Gemeni)

 because it was super easy to put on and comfy to wear. It was really convenient because  Sebby could go anywhere we went. 

As he got older and more adventuresome, he wasn't content in the carrier for such long stretches, though. On our Christmas vacation trip to Berlin, Prague, Vienna & Bratislava, he still spent the majority of his day in the carrier but Daddy gave some shoulder rides too

Berlin walking tour (12 mths).

In January we bought our second carrier because we noticed that Sebby was getting too big for our Beco and wearing him was starting to feel uncomfortable. We got a toddler carrier that was a similar design to our old one (a Boba 3G), simple to use and really comfortable to wear...until I got pregnant. 

Being pregnant, I feel really uncomfortable with anything tight around my stomach so the straps of the carrier that buckled around my waist weren't an option anymore. We started researching alternative carriers and I was able to borrow a woven wrap from a babywearing group in Glasgow.

 We loved the versatility of the woven wrap but we found that with a very wiggly toddler it was difficult and time consuming to put on.

Trying out the woven wrap in Italy. The Leaning Tower of Pisa (16 mths).

 We returned the woven wrap and continued looking for other options. I heard about Pod  carriers from another pregnant mom and although they aren't super popular, I was able to find one to try out at the babywearing meet in Glasgow.

As soon as I tried it, I knew it was the perfect option for us! A Pod or Podegi is a Korean style baby carrier that worked for us because it was like a combination of our favourite features of a buckle style carrier and a woven wrap...it didn't have to tie around the waist and was easy to put on quickly because it has a structure to it.

I started looking to purchase a custom one ASAP and found a Canadian woman on Etsy who made great custom carriers at excellent prices and said the carrier would be en route to the UK within a week after my order. I was so excited!

The Pod has been perfect for us because I find it easy to use and pack since he often wants to walk, I can easily tuck it in my bag.

During our time in the Baltics (Riga, Latvia and Tallinn, Estonia) this summer, Sebby loved wearing his little dinosaur backpack so he could be on the ground exploring.

Daddy & Sebby exploring Riga while wearing their backpacks.

 Sometimes he wanted to take a little "too much time" exploring, though!

Enjoying the sights and sounds as he rode on Momma's back in the Pod.

 And when he got sleepy so he took cozy naps on Momma or Daddy.

Sleeping in Riga (19 mths).

Our time in the South of France challenged our commitment to babywearing and the summer heat won out! It was in the mid 30's Celsius every day. We survived our first of two weeks carrying Sebby but we were both a bit miserable with him on my back. He kept waking up from his naps because he was too hot to sleep and I felt like I was operating in slow motion because I was too hot to move any faster.

We took a day trip to Cannes and after some shopping and a little walk around the Old Town, we ended up spending browsing around in various shops to see if we could find a cheap umbrella stroller.
 

Cooling off in a fountain, pre stroller purchase.

Probably the BEST 40 euros we spent during our trip, the umbrella stroller we got helped us have a much more pleasant second week of vacation! Sometimes the weather is just too hot for babywearing, especially for a pregnant momma who doesn't enjoy hot weather much to begin with!

Enjoying a beautiful & breezy walk to Monaco along the seaside.

Now that we're back to cooler, Scotland, I'm enjoying carrying Sebby on my back again. I love having him up close to talk with while we're walking. He continues to be really observant and is getting even more chatty as his vocab improves. Plus it's great exercise.

We'll definitely hold on to the umbrella stroller and will probably need to start using it more once Little Lungette is born. I'm not sure if my body will be up for tandem babywearing but I do want to give it a try.

And I'm excited to try out our new, secondhand, stretchy wrap (it's a Boba Wrap) with Little Lungette. Only a few more weeks to go!

Comment to share about your adventures in babywearing!

French Playground Rules!

Spending quite a bit of time on French playgrounds with Sebby during our vacation, I couldn't help but think about the book "Bringing Up Bebe." Although I haven't had the opportunity to read the it, I've been wanting to learn more about French parenting philosophies, mostly because I preceive them to be somewhat different from mine. 

We went to a playground almost once a day, sometimes twice a day even so were able to make some interesting observations. The biggest one was that :

French playgrounds are set up as spaces for parents to relax and children to socialize.

French playgrounds have NO swings!

The playground equipment was designed for children to use on their own. 

French playgrounds have benches all around the perimeters.

The benches are always full of parents & grandparents.

French parents do not follow their children around the playground!

French children go to the park to play with other children.

When they bring bikes or toys to the park, they are expected to share them with others.

Parents are quick to discipline their kids when they don't share or play nicely.

We embraced the playground culture in France and let Sebby play while we relaxed on benches in the shade. Since we were confident that other parents were supervising their children from a distance also, we enjoyed the freedom to do the same, using the time to chat while we watched Sebby and the other kids play. It was great!!!

I'm going to miss such laid back days at the park now that we're back in the English speaking part of the world where parents of kids Sebby's age either follow their children around at the playground or spend the majority of their time playing with them instead of stepping back to encourage them to play alone or with the other children.

Back at the Scottish playground today, Sebby was excited to get back on the swings! Although I didn't follow as closely as I used to, I returned to supervising him more closely too, especially since much of the playground equipment in our closest park isn't age-appropriate but that doesn't stop him from attempting to climb on it.

However, I realized that although I wasn't relaxing on the bench, I still had an opportunity to get to know a few other moms. One of them told me about an outdoor playgroup that happens every Wednesday afternoon at a little meadow just down the street from our place. It sounds like a lot of fun and we're planning to go next Wednesday. I'm really excited, I just hope it isn't raining!

Home But Missing Someone Very Special

"Oh noooo!" 

On the bus on the way to the airport in Nice this morning, Darren & I had a terrible realization. Sebby's best friend, Baa Baa (his stuffed sheep), was left behind at the guesthouse! I felt like a terrible parent for not checking to see if Sebby's best friend had been packed.

They'd been playing together at breakfast and as we rushed out to grab the bus to the airport, it totally slipped my mind to make sure that Baa Baa had been put into the bag. (He was probably left on the couch in the guesthouse.)

We decided the best course of action (to avoid even more disappointment) was to not make a big deal about it and quickly change the topic of conversation when Sebby mentioned Baa Baa.

The most heart breaking part of the day was this evening while we were praying. We asked Sebby what he was thankful for and he said Baa Baa. Aww, poor Sebby, he was thankful for his "missing" best friend.

We assured him that Baa Baa was fine, still vacationing in France and would hopefully join us in a few days. Then we sent him to bed with 2 new friends, Bear Bear & Giraffe. Thankfully he didn't seem too distressed but I still feel horrible and am determined to get Baa Baa back if at all possible. I've emailed the owner of the guesthouse asking him if he could send Baa Baa back to us. Here's to hoping for a positive response!

Until then, here's a reminder of happier times, Baa Baa napping in between Daddy & Sebby.

Getting Ready for Little Lungette

Maybe it's the weather? Maybe it's because I spend more time at home now? Or maybe it's the fact that we're going away on Friday for almost a month? Whatever it is, I'm definitely nesting a lot earlier this time around. 

When I was pregnant with Sebby, I remember being a lot more focused on work and most days after work, I napped in the afternoon, got up to eat then went to bed soon after. Darren led the charge, encouraging me to get organized and helping out with cooking and freezing meals, etc...

This time around we have no extra freezer space so we won't be cooking and freezing meals but I am all over organizing our place and getting things ready for Little Lungette. I've been organizing closets and getting rid of things we don't need. I have a bag of Sebby's old clothes ready to drop off at a charity shop and am wondering if there's anything else around our flat that can be sold or donated. Yesterday evening I sold our stroller on Gumtree (UK's version of Kijiji or Craigslist) and now every time I open the front closet, I smile at the space that has been freed up. This morning I sorted everything we've been given for Little Lungette (so much already!) and put it into labelled boxes on top of Sebby's wardrobe.

One more day before we leave for the Baltics and France. Hoping I can accomplish a few other little projects before leaving. I want to pick up some screws to put up a new frame that we bought and would LOVE if the weather would cooperate tomorrow so we could get a few loads of laundry out, I have new diapers (and dirty ones too!) that could use some sun & fresh air while they dry!